balancing chaos

I would never consider myself a fully organized person, but I am by no means messy or disorganized. I like things in order and clutter free (just don't look in my closets). But, with a toddler and a husband running around, that is next to impossible.

I thought that by being a "stay at home mom" (technically, I am also a working mom by night) my house would always be clean and organized, dinner would be on the table every night, and life would be chaos free. Wrong. In fact, I think its almost worse at times. Probably because we are home way more often than we would be if I were working full time during the week. I sweep up crumbs all over the floor, 5 minutes later, crumbs magically appear on the floor again. I clean and disinfect the counters, shortly after, husband comes downstairs to make a snack and somehow misses a whole patch of crumbs or dribble of some type of liquid. I put away and straighten up all of my daughter's toys, when she wakes up from her nap, they are all over the living room again. It's a vicious cycle, I tell you!

I try to keep things in order, but somehow, chaos always ensues. My house is not dirty by any means, but cluttered at times? Absolutely. There are so many..things just all over the house, that I wish I could just throw away. I won't say I am a packrat, but I definitely have a hard time parting with certain things. A lot of times, its just things from my child hood, little memories, etc. Most recently, its baby things. Can anyone else relate with me on this? My child has SO MANY clothes. I haven't given away a single piece of her clothing since birth, and I have about 6 giant diaper boxes packed with clothes. I know I could sell half of them, and still have a decent collection "just in case"...but, I just can't do it. I've even put clothes aside, taken photos of them to list on a local flea market page..and I can't bring myself to put them up for sale. I keep asking myself "but what if you have another girl within the same season??" just to reason with my insanity. But who am I kidding? Even if I do have another daughter, Lord knows I'll continue to buy HER clothes. Girl clothes are hard to resist, you can't blame me for that one.

This week, I was finally able to get Audrey's room in semi order. Laundry is the one thing that does get done in a semi timely fashion around here. It may not get folded right away (guilty.) but, it gets washed. There was A LOT of laundry when it was just Ryan and I (mostly his, not mine). Add a little person to the mix and laundry multiplies...by five. The worst part about doing laundry is putting it away. I hate it. And, I can't even attempt to try and do it while the little one is awake because she finds it absolutely hilarious to wreck my piles of folded clothes, dragging them across the floor. So, clothes get folded in piles by person (except Ryan's work clothes, I do hang those up...Begrudgingly). Audrey's clothes get put in her clothes basket in her room because I just don't feel like putting them all away in drawers and closets. But, THIS WEEK, I did. I hung everything up that needed hung and put everything away in drawers where they are supposed to go. What a great feeling! I know I'll have that feeling again next month, when I do that whole putting away process again ;)

Many things make me happy, but one of them is the look of freshly vacuumed carpets. You know what I'm talking about! We bit the bullet on Black Friday last year and finally purchased a Dyson...and we love it. That thing has amazing suction power, and can get the smallest cheerio crumbs from the depths of the Berber fibers (and trust, there are A LOT of those these days!) The carpets probably get vacuumed at least once a week, usually more. And of course, Audrey likes to "help" by pushing the vacuum. I can't wait until she's strong enough to push it on her own -- put her to work! ;)

I try and keep the bathrooms cleaned and the beds made. The floor swept and the counters wiped down.

But there are days where I feel like I can't keep up. Even the days I DO clean, and by the end of the day, my home looks like I hadn't lifted a finger all day. Dinner is less than impressive, and the dishwasher is still loaded with the dishes from the last clean cycle.

At the end of the day though, I have to remind myself that these things are trivial. I might not be getting the house straightened up in a timely fashion, because I am too busy. I am too busy doing the most important job in the world, which is raising my daughter. I get to be with her all day, every day. I get to be there for her when she's happy and when she's sad, when she's excited and even mad. I get to teach her new things, watch her grow and learn. I get to spend my time cuddling and hugging her, reading her stories and letting her explore new things. I get to experience the world, for the first time through her eyes. The past year and a half has been the quickest 18 months of my life, and they are only little once.

As long as she is happy, I am happy...and the laundry can wait.